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Name: www.xanga.com/yourinfamousfriend
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Interests: Reading About What Love Is Like
Playing My Guitar
Singing
miscellaneous
Is what I want.
So bad.
Credits
Layout by: Tasare
Resources: {X} {X} {X}
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| When one thing happens it causes something else to happen. Thats what happened last summer. I had changed, which caused my whole life to change. It was a huge change in the way people looked at me, and even how they acted towards me. I could not change back from what I knew I was. I could not help the fact either. Was I the problem, or were they? Either way, I knew I was bisexual. I was physically and mentally attracted to men, and women. I always found myself staring at another girls body, not in a perverted way, just to study her physique. The eyes were what I stared at the most. Thats when I realized I was infact bisexual. I thought back to my childhood and wondered what could have triggered these emotions and feelings. I finally remembered that arounf the age of 12-13, I would hang out with my neighbor, Amanda, and we would play house. I was always the girl, and she was always my boyfriend. Our little sisters would play the role of our high school friends. We would seclude ourselves from the game and the world. We were a couple. One thing led to another and we kissed. All Night Long. Everyday. Her house or mine. Anywhere. I was addicted to her lips as she was to mine. We almost got caught once by her homophobic dad, but we really didn't care. She moved out maybe 2 months after we started kissing. I would only see her maybe once or twice in school. I still wonder what it would be like to kiss those lips again. I never see her anymore since I go to Tech and she goes to Lower. I've heard that she's always dating the jocks in her school. I wonder if she ever thinks about me. I really do. From that moment, I really knew I was bisexual. I told my friends and they played tthe "Oh, we still love you." card in the playing field. During the summer I heard that they were having parties, sleepovers, and going places without me. I realized they didnt like me anymore. I was alone. I posted on their blog saying I was leaving them. They never cared before I posted that, and that didnt change after I posted it either. School started and I had no friends at all. Complete ignorance is what I from them. This hurt. Not to mention at home I was also ignored. No one loved me. My parents didn't. I started doing horrible things. I collected 6 razors and 1 very sharp knife. I started not caring for myself. I started hurting myself on purpose. I even threw myself down a staircase. 19 steps made of concrete should have killed me. It didn't work. I tried very hard to end my life. I thought that since my parents didnt love me, who would? My life, soul, and everything about me was crumbling before me. I could not save myself. All I wanted was someone to care and love me like I deserved to be loved. Someone needed to know how I felt. Someone needed to help me. Who to turn to was the question. I checked everysite I was a part of when I noticed an inbox message on gaiaonline. It was from an old friend. I had known him as Veranis. We started talking again and I found myself falling for him. I really didnt know him though. I asked more about him. Sooner or later he said that he loved me. I told him I loved him back, because I did. I really did. I told him I had problems so I told him everything. I was told what I needed to hear. I was yelled at. He wasn't yelling at me because he was mad. He yelled at me because he loved me. I was in love. with a 20 year old barman who lived in the United Kingdom named Neville Wood. He said he wanted to marry me. I want to be April Wood. I will be April Wood. I'm going to get away from this place. Away from my ex-friends, away from my family, and away from this country. To a place where no one will judge me. To a place where im expected. To a place where im loved.
-April
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| AHHHH. Omgawsh. On Friday night I went to the AD [Alternate Destination] for a party, and everyone who I absolutely love were there. Miranda, Judi, Brandon, Joe, Abigail, Rachel, Amanda, RayRay, Jordan, and Anthony. And Brandon sang and played guitar for us. He dedicated a song to me, it was called "Smile". I felt so special.
When the night was over I was very sad, yet very excited because I knew the next day I had a trip to Pennsylvania for the Renisance Fair!!!! The girls club went and it was amazing heres how the day went =]
I woke up, we left for Mr. Seifkens house to meet, and then we were off to Pennsylvania. When we got there we all got dressed up. I was so excited like no other person. We walked in and we were wearing bunny ears and everyone were saying stuff about the playboy bunnies coming to town. It was very very funny. There was jousting, a human chess tournament, and hynotism shows. I WAS HYPNOTIZED. And I dont even remember anything. My friend Sara was hypnotized with me. We cant remember anything. Apparently there was a thing where they told us we were on the moon and we had moon money so we should hide it in a secure area because the moon men were known to steal money. So apparently me and Sara put our hands like down our shirt and hid some stuff. And then he told us moon money turns to ice so then I got a freezing sensation in my shirt and started like shaking. Another one was that the girls were attracted to the moon men, and the guys hated the moon men so the hypnotist asked the guys what was the weirdest thing they saw the moon men do. And one guy said "The moon man was making out with a cow" and another one said "They're eating soup off of eachother". And then the hypnotist told us to make ourselves cute for the moon men. And then we got a sex change and I was a guy. I dont know. Im really clueless. Like I said I dont remember anything. Oh and apparently we lost 1 million dollars? And OH. He said when he stomps his foot twice we will feel a pinch on our butt and blame someone else in the audience. So he awoke us and he stomped his foot twice and my butt hurt so bad! I got up and started yelling at some random person.And then he said sleep, and all I remember is falling asleep, and then apparently he said that now when he stomps his foot twice again we will feel extreme pleasure and get up and thank someone in the audience. He awoke us, and he stomped his foot. I just felt really good, and got up and thanked some random person...It was so weird. He made us sleep again and apparently he said something about the person next to you was your teddy bear, hug and cuddle with your teddy bear. I latched onto Sara and she latched onto me and we like hugged and I pet her or something like that. I have pictures to proove it. It was weird....That was the end of the show really, and people kept asking me about the moon men, and I didnt know what they were talking about....Hmmm...Weird....Oh and I bought a lizard. =] Sir George is his name...
Well now im busy and bored so. I will blog later?
-Your Infamous Friend
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| Dear Mr. Ladd, Oh why did you have to assign that paper due tomorrow, Friday, October the third in the year 2008. It was so annoying and it took me 3 and 1/2 hours to do. I understand the same sex marriage topic, but not the crisis on wall street. That was annoying. I couldn't even type about it. I mean come on and we get a little bit more serious here? A 16 year-old talking about politics? In a two page paper. I could understand 1 page. But not ever ever ever two pages. I have learned alot though about their outlooks on same sex marriage. They do not feel the same why I do. Especially not John McCain. John McCain wants to not only not have same sex marriage but ban unions and domestic partnerships. Thats just wrong. Barack Obama is okay I guess. He does not want same sex marriage, but he is not taking away domestic partnerships. I can see that. But if it were up to me I would definently allow same sex marriage. Isnt that why we are here on this planet? To find love, and spend your life with the one you love? Who cares if your female and you love another female. Who cares if your a guy and your in love with another guy. I certainly dont care. Just because the physical parts dont fit, does not mean it wasn't meant to be. Thats my outlook on things. Seriously. I am not mad about this assignment do not get me wrong. Im just mad about that one subject. The crisis on wall-street. Lets get real please. Sincerely, April [the girl who says hi to you every morning, which no other kid does may I add] Thats what my letter would look like if I had the chance to give that to him and not get in trouble. Thats how I truly feel about what he makes us do every week. And thats how I also feel about same sex marriage. I would love to have it. I mean, me myself, Im bisexual. I swing more towards guys though. But who cares. If your in love, you should be able to get married and be bounded to that person for the rest of your life. I don't see why people dont see that. My religion, Judaism, is also ran by the first testement that also says that same sex relations is wrong. But that doesnt stop me from doing the shit I do. Who cares if thats what the bible says, new testement or old. I should get off the subject before I get mad =] The past two days have been just dandy. The girl who talks shit on me has been talking to me the most, and asks me for money everrrrrryday. Now, does that seem right to you? It doesn't seem right to me. Huh. Tomorrow night is a party [exclusive] at A.D. and I was invited. I can't wait. Miranda and I are going. So excited. Not alot of people are allowed to get into those parties. The good thing is that there are no drugs, no drinks, nothing bad for you. And then on Saturday I was up early and Im going to Pennsylvania for the Renisance Fair. I wont be back home until late so I will probably blog on Sunday. Im going to be now 'cause im tired. Long long day here in New Jersey. That paper tired me out I swear. Well goodnight to all the readers im not getting =] -Your Infamous Friend. | | |
| Today was Rosh Hashannah and I repented my sins. I hope they are forgiven. Please be forgiven =O And anyways. Afterwards I went to my great grandmothers house for a dinner/lunch thingy with Matza Ball Soup =] My favorite. We also had chicken, mashed potato's, apple, uh apple pie. Yeah thats mainly it. The apples were put out with some honey because it means we want a sweet new year and shit like that. So yeah then I took a walk, drove home, uh and then went over Kelsey's house and watched Stick It. One of the best movies evarrr. I swear. Its like the best, and I don't even like gymnastics. Uh I held her bunnay =] So cute =] Then I went to gymnastics class, oh and I also had hip-hop too. Yay? Aha anyways. When hip-hop was done I went to gymnastics. We did the drills which meant; squat hops, walks, squat hops with foward rolls, walking with both our hands and feet on the ground, mountain climbers, and many other drills I can't explain in writing. We started doing kart wheels and round-offs. Easy. The last one was to do either one but like running. I had done this many times before so I was all excited and stuff. My kart wheel was so pretty they said, but when I came down I landed on the side of my foot, not on the sole of it. So I fell to the ground, grabbing it in agonizing pain, and ended up with a sprained ankle =] Yay me. Just what I wanted you know? So once I wake up tomorrow, I hope im not in agonizing pain. I can't wait to go back to school. I've missed the pass two days because I was sick and it was a holiday today so I wasn't allowed to go at all. I got a text message from one of my back stabbing friends saying "Where the fuck have you been?" so I guess people are worried. So yeah. The only reason why I don't want to go is because i'm in my junior year of high school, and I know im going to have alot of homework because its a technical school. Ugh. Yay me? Wish me luck going back for no homework! -Your Infamous Friend | | |
| So yeah obviously im sick still and my mom let me stay home today finally. Which reminds me I don't have school tomorrow either because its Rosh Hashanah. Jewish holiday. Its the new year for our calendar which means we have to ask G-d to repent and forgive all of our sins which means for me im asking for him to 1. Forgive me for cursing all the time 2. Forgive me for just now getting my Bat Mitzvah 3. Forgive me for sex before marriage. 4. Forgive me for hurting myself in every possible way. 5 Forgive me for being in the presence of pot, and getting contact high from it. Hopefully I will be forgiven cause if im not, i'm screwed. I guess now that I have nothing to talk about I will blog about what happened over Laurens house for her random Amoeba party =3 Basically, we ate some pizza. Watched the end of Brokeback Mountain. Played man hunt with everybody in her household. Layed in her grass, throwing up glowsticks and playing with light up swords. Made videos of playing the oreo game, dancing for Sophie [who is in Germany], Showed her Laurens new blue car, and I forget much of the other stuff. It was a crazy night. Thats mainly it thats new on this Monday of my life =] -Your Infamous Friend | | |
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